How I Changed My Mindset to Have a Happier Life
Once I understood happiness is a choice, life became better.
Once I understood happiness is a choice, life became better.
“Happiness is a direction, not a place” — Sydney J. Harris
We live in a world where happiness is an endless pursuit. It seems like happiness lives in the future, but what about the present? Quite often, I hear people saying, “Once I get there, I will be happy,” “If I hadn’t done that, I would be happy today,” and so on. I consider myself a happy person because I learned to live in the present, then I can enjoy life every day.
I used to live sometimes in the future, sometimes in the past. Unfortunately, I often forgot about the present. This behavior set me apart from happiness, and I needed to solve this problem. I found the solution by shaping my mindset. Once I understood happiness is a choice, my life became better.
Changing my behavior was the key to a happier life. Once I transformed seven poor attitudes into healthier ones, happiness became a reality.
Don’t complain
Our daily life is full of opportunities to complain. Yet, complaints bring us only negativity, dragging our energy down. I used to complain quite a lot about tiny things. For example, when I missed the bus, or when the traffic jam was heavy, or when someone was late. What did I get from that? Nothing good, I only became more annoyed. So why did I complain? Because I had a poor attitude towards life, the victim syndrome.
“Complaining is finding faults. Wisdom is finding solutions.” — Ajahn Brahm
My attitude was blocking me from moving forward. Complaining held me back, I accepted the situation, and I kept suffering. I had to change my behavior. I decided, I either accept what happened and forget about it, or I take action to change the situation. This attitude gave me the energy to focus on what matters.
Complaining makes us feel good — for a little while. We’ve all known someone who could just complain all day long. When you complain, you practice a kind of passivity. You give up control, and make excuses to justify sitting around the house in your jammies on Wednesday.
— Jessica Wildfire, Shake It Off: You Can Unlearn How to Complain
No regrets
Regrets are dreadful because they keep us living in the past. I don’t regret anything I’ve done, which doesn’t mean I’ve made only good choices over my life. I simply accept my reality, in case the outcome was different than I expected, I face as a learning. I can only change my decisions from now on, so why would I bother with the past? I save the time for something else.
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” — Steve Jobs

It’s a waste of time wondering what would have happened if my decision was different. The truth is, it doesn’t matter; I cannot change the past. I accept what happened. I do my best to live a better today. If I keep regretting, I lose precious time to have a bright present.
“I have no regrets. I don’t believe in looking back. What I am proudest of? Working really hard… and achieving as much as I could.” — Elena Kagan
Meaningful relationships
As social animals, we need to have deep relationships. Having meaningful relationships is essential for happiness because it makes us feel safe. Once we know we have someone who will always be there for us, we feel great about it. However, we should strive to keep only positive people around us. Be careful with toxic people; they drag our energy down.
“A meaningful relationship is one that’s open and honest in a way that lets people be straight with each other” — Ray Dalio
The truth is hard; we have few meaningful relationships. We can only build long-lasting relationships with a few people. It is time-consuming. However, meaningful relationships help us to evolve as human beings. Invest your time wisely on it. The results payout the effort in happiness format.
A meaningful relationship is strong. You know the other person’s got your back. If something is wrong, they’ll tell you straight, and you’ll grow from it. You don’t grow from people hiding the truth from you. It might feel good initially to not face the brutal truth, but it will eventually hurt when you fall.
— Danny Forest, Why Meaningful Relationships Are Key to Undeniable Self-Awareness
Do not let others’ opinions influence you
If opinions were good, they would have a price tag on it. Whenever you have some ideas or plans, many people will have a cynical or doubtful view about it. Just ignore them! Focus on your goals.
I love sharing my insights, which means I listen to many opinions. Unfortunately, only a few are helpful, because many people want to prove themselves or discourage you from following your dreams. Whenever I get an impression, I listen, but I don’t let them influence me.
“The only opinion about your dream that really counts is yours. The negative comments of others merely reflect their limitations — not yours.”
— Cynthia Kersey
Have a healthy life
Having an unhealthy lifestyle today is common, but does it make sense? If you want to kill your chances of greatness, then yes. I fell into this pitfall already. I killed too much time on Social Networks, Netflix, Youtube, and so on. What did I get from this behavior? Nothing. I asked myself, what am I doing with my time? Well, I could not find a different answer than I am wasting my time.
If we don’t have a sharp mind and a healthy body, it will be hard for us to be happy. I decided to change my lifestyle to a healthier one. I discovered massive benefits from a morning routine. I created a routine to prepare me for the day. After I started it, I enjoy terrific days.
“A morning routine sets the tone for the whole day, and if you do each day right, you’ll do life right.”
— Cathryn Lavery, Why Creating a Meaningful Morning Routine Will Make You More Successful
The gym is something I always ran away from it. But I needed to keep my body healthy. I solved this problem with 15 minutes of workout per day at home. Also, I walk for 45 minutes a day. If you think you’re too busy for yourself, you should review your priorities. You own your time. You decide what you do and what you don’t.
Live life today

Depression happens once we live in the past, while anxiety occurs when we live in the future. I used to live a lot in the future; I am the kind of person who loves planning everything, therefore being more in the future than in the present. It is essential to have plans, but life is today, which means we should enjoy every day as much as possible. Don’t lock yourself into the future!
Meditation is what helps me to live in the present moment. I meditate 20 minutes a day in the morning, before breakfast. Meditation brings me significant benefits; I became a more focused person. Now I can enjoy what happens in the present moment. I enjoy the simple aspects of life, which increases my daily happiness.
“The true definition of mental illness is when the majority of your time is spent in the past or future, but rarely living in the realism of NOW.”
― Shannon L. Alder
Don’t care about things outside your control
Many things are outside our control. Once I learned how to accept reality, my life became more comfortable. I used to try to control everything to feel more peaceful. However, I cannot control many aspects of life.
“When you find yourself worrying, take a minute to examine the things you have control over. You can’t prevent a storm from coming, but you can prepare for it. You can’t control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you react.
Recognize that, sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude. When you put your energy into the things you can control, you’ll be much more effective.”
— Amy Morin, How to Stop Worrying About Things You Can’t Change
Instead of focusing on controlling everything, I focus on my reaction. How I deal with the happenings is essential for my well being. I believe we can transform challenges into opportunities. It’s up to us. Once we sharpen our mindset, life becomes more interesting. Ignore what you can’t control; instead, be creative by looking for the opportunities.
“When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. “ — John F. Kennedy

Wrap-up
Happiness is a choice. We can be happy today if we want to. Keep a positive attitude towards life, and you will become a happier person.
Don’t waste your time complaining, save your energy for something that matters.
Regret nothing! Regrets bring anything useful to you. Life is today, not yesterday.
Focus on meaningful relationships instead of quantity. Fewer real friends are better than many toxic people around you.
Forget about the other’s opinions; only you know what is better for you.
Take care of yourself. Enjoy healthy habits, keep a positive mindset.
The past is gone, the future may not exist, so live today the best way you can.
Don’t bother with what is outside your control. Focus on what you can do, don’t focus on what you can’t.