7 Uncomfortable Truths That Separate Outstanding PMs From the Rest
Do you know what it takes to create value when everyone distracts you?
Most PMs unintentionally become a combination of a stakeholder’s puppet and a ticket pusher. That sucks.
The most uncomfortable truth is that you won’t be an outstanding PM without falling prey to several traps. That’s part of the journey, but are you ready to embrace discomfort?
Sadly, most PMs master excuses. “It’s complicated.” “Nobody will let me do that.”
Don’t let that happen to you. If you want to grow, you must be ready to dare.
Too many product managers are busy with the wrong things.
Their calendars are full. Their boards are loaded. Their output is high.
But they’re not getting ahead. And they’re not driving value.
I’ve been there. I was the lord of Jira and the Shakespeare of user stories. Until I realized I was a backlog manager at best.
Unlearning what most PMs believe is good enough is what unlocked my growth.
If you want to become the PM that execs rely on, you’ve got to be different. We’re in a world where quality is scarce. You can stand out when your bar is higher than average.
Linear's CEO wrote this blog post: "Why is quality so rare?" He argues that the 'quality doesn't scale' belief is wrong. I think every product manager should read it.
Here are 7 truths you won’t hear in most product courses. But they are the ones that separate the outstanding from the unprepared.
1. Ask for forgiveness, not permission
Every time you ask for something, you have a 50% chance of rejection. And most people are risk-averse.
Ask for permission if you want to engage in abstract discussions. You will theorize what it could be and should not be. Most PMs do that, and that’s too lengthy to learn whether something works.
The outstanding PMs are mindful. The easier a decision is to undo, the more courageous they are. They just do it, learn from the results, and discuss that.
Yet, if something is hard to revert, they will search for ways to learn from reality without being reckless.
Waiting for approval kills progress. You end up talking about the work instead of doing it. Take bold action. Let results defend your choices.
2. Do what’s needed, not what’s easy
Many things are easy:
Following a roadmap
Attending a sequence of meetings
Bloating your backlog
Feeding software engineers
Such things may drain your energy, but they’re pretty predictable and manageable to keep doing. That’s what most PMs do. Yet doing what’s needed is bloody hard:
Following an outcome
Rejecting distracting meetings
Keeping the backlog goal-oriented
Empowering software engineers with worthy problems
It’s a different game to do what’s needed. Yet, it’s necessary if you want to thrive.
Break the process when it slows you down. Do what creates impact, even when it’s uncomfortable.
3. Deliver results beyond tasks
Do you know what suck the soul out of product teams?
Estimations.
Not because we don’t know how to estimate, but because they fool us and get us to have lengthy discussions that create false expectations.
No matter how you picture it, estimation will become a commitment.
Outstanding PMs don’t talk about velocity. They don’t care about it. Creating more features cannot guarantee more value.
Shipping five features a week doesn’t matter if nothing changes. Your output isn’t your value. Your impact is.
If you want to stand out, you have to focus on value and ensure that everyone on the team does the same.
4. Lead with context, not control
Some product managers descend into outdated project managers. Day in and day out, they monitor which tasks people are delivering. They ensure the feature factory is running at full steam. Yet, they fail to be real product managers.
Trying to control everything turns you into a bottleneck. Outstanding PMs don’t micromanage. They clarify the problem and align the team around it. They guide, then get out of the way.
Control is fear in disguise. Context is leadership.
If you want teams to create value, ensure they know:
Which problem are you solving
Which customers care about such a challenge
How often customers face the issue
What they do when they hit the wall
What’s their context
How business can benefit from solving such a problem
When you lead by context, you get a team of achievers, while control limits the team to mere executors.
5. Write broken stories, not perfect ones
PMs are not story writers. Your job isn’t to tell software engineers what to do. Your real job is to tell them what to achieve and figure out together.
The clearer your user stories are, the fewer questions engineers ask. Consequently, they will have less understanding of the underlying problem.
Beyond that, you don’t have to work with user stories if you please. You can use other techniques, job stories, jobs to be done, and do whatever works for you.
Perfect stories close minds while broken ones open conversations. Uncertainty invites collaboration.
Unprepared PMs hand out answers. Outstanding PMs encourage questions and solve real problems together.
6. Define success, not just acceptance
I’m not against acceptance criteria, but against PMs writing them alone. This attitude creates unintentional phases and hinders collaboration.
Success criteria is a way out of that. It forces people to think about how to solve problems instead of ticking boxes.
Shipped doesn’t mean valuable. You need to define what success looks like before you build. Then measure it after. Keep iterating until you can realize the desired outcome
7. Challenge the status quo, don’t conform to it
Comfort is a trap. Just because something worked yesterday doesn’t mean it works today. The challenge is that you don’t know when something will stop working.
Your job is not to protect the current way of working but to evolve it. Growth never happens without discomfort.
Unfortunately, most people will protect the status quo as fiercely as possible. Changing annoys people because it takes them out of their comfort zone. Yet, outstanding PMs are comfortable with the uncomfortable.
The moment you set, you risk becoming obsolete. I doubt you want that.
Here’s What Nobody Will Tell You
Let’s face reality.
No one will tell you how to become the PM C-level relies on. Everyone will push you in different directions. Until you know what matters, you will do what doesn’t.
Outstanding PMs don’t follow the standard path. They make their own. They’re not scared of going first. They’re afraid of staying average.
Fitting in won’t get you ahead. If you want to thrive, you have to take risks that most won’t. Do things that make people uncomfortable.
It’s fine to be a contrarian for a while if you deliver value. Embrace the criticism.
Fail for the right reasons instead of succeeding for the wrong ones.
That’s how you grow. That’s how you lead.
Let’s reshape the product together.
Shall We Reshape the Product World Together?
Join me to break free from outdated product management!
Let’s foster the 100x PM movement! No more feature factory.
Untrapping Product Teams Book: Practical insights to give hope to teams.
Anti-BS Product Management: Escape the noise. Deliver value.
How to Craft a Product Strategy that Works: Craft something that lasts.
Product Discovery Done Right: Break free from the feature factory.